i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
