You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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