I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
