well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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