Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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