I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
