I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Randomize
