I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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