why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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