that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize