She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
