Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
