I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
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