:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Randomize
