she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
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