I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
two words: eviction party
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
