i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
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