it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Everyone says I win the strip club
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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