you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
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