3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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