Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
