She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
