Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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