God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
handjob tips. give me some.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Dicks are not precious.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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