I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Randomize
