dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
