if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
