Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
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