I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
