Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
