Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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