No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Randomize
