.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
