Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
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