Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
