I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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