I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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