Walk of Shame. In a state park.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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