dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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