apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
