pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Randomize
