Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Randomize
