try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
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