White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
