i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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