Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
