Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
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puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
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