let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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