I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
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