So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
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Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
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There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
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