This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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