I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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