I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
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