The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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