OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
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