Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
