oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
