Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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