a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I think my moral compass just broke
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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