You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
