I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
