i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
